Dear Tucker Max:

Do you agree with the following statement? "Guys still want to bang every girl they see in the most pornographic manner possible, and girls still think that "not all guys are like that."

If you think there is any truth to that, I would love to share with you a blindingly funny and candid debut novel that I think you will wholeheartedly enjoy and identify with: an offensive, in-your-face, brutally honest and completely hilarious look at male inner life and sexual fantasy. It's called AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE by Chad Kultgen. I am sure you get tons of e-mails with varied, fantastic requests, but as a fan of your work, there was no way I could stop myself from e-mailing you about this out-of-control debut--a fresh look at the twenty-first century battle of the sexes.

Please don't think that because Chad has a woman for an editor that this was toned down in any way, because it wasn't. This is a man's mind on the page--a direct response to chick lit, to every woman's magazine, Oprah, Dr. Phil, and network sitcoms, who portray the image of the Average American Man as an oafish retard, happy to swallow down gallons of his significant other's crap in the hopes of being allowed to have sex with her once a week, or at least watch some football.

I know you get many requests and have many commitments, but as fans of your work, Chad and I would love the opportunity to send you the manuscript. Any time or attention you could give would be supremely appreciated and give a huge boost to a new writer. If you are interested, please let me know how I can get a bound manuscript to you.

Thank you and I wish you continued success.

Best regards,

Joelle

From: Tucker Max
To: "Yudin, Joelle"
Date: Aug 31, 2006 10:30 AM
Subject: Re: AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE by Chad Kultgen

"but as a fan of your work"

Are you really? Or are you just a fan of the huge following I have built in the 16-30 year old male bracket, the one that no mainstream publisher has been able to tap?

I love this. I really do. Five years ago you fucking retards rejected my manuscript, told me my voice had no market, and basically that I sucked. I knew that not one of you had any idea what you were talking about, so I went out and created an empire on my own. What resulted was a massively successful website, a best selling book, and a lock on the hardest demographic to reach.

Now you are coming to me--not with an apology about how your house treated me, not soliciting a proposal for my next book, not even with or with a "boy, we were wrong about you, your stuff is great" intro email--no, you are coming to me asking for my help to promote and develop something that probably sucks and that you won't be able to sell on your own.

Been a big fan of yours for years and just recently got hired at Harper Collins as a marketing assistant. You don't have to believe a word I tell you but I speak the truth and short of e-mailing you from my Harper Collins email I hope that you'd take what I have to tell you at face value.

One of the accounts I assist on is Average American Male... (I've read it...and lets just say the author wishes he were you...but more importantly wishes he could have lived what he wrote like you... yes it's a fiction novel)

Joelle quit late last week so i feel there's no harm and no foul in telling you about what happened after she read your messageboard post. It was hilarious... they printed out posts and as everyone was reading it in our boardroom.. she started sniffling and then all out crying. It was great. I wanted to send you a picture text of her tears streaming down her face.

Then all the other publishing lesbian feminists were like "Tucker's so stupid.. what did he expect? A personalized email?"

I thought, well you certainly don't know Tucker at all. If only the dumbasses in marketing realized that Harper Collins told you to fuck yourself years ago - and the insult it is to copy and paste a BS PR request on a novel that is directly going after your target demo. (Get this... he wants to go on a campus fraternity tour... sound familar?)

They continued ranting with "Well if he doesn't want exposure that will help further his own career then forget him"

Obviously they're too naive to realize how you've marketing and project yourself to your audience. I suppose they honestly thought you'd take exposure at the cost of appearing as a sell-out hypocrite to your adoring fans.

But that bitch quit, her reasons were she was tired of publishing.. but deep down I believe you contributed fully to her leaving. Thanks so much.

During our senior year, the Dover-Sherborn athletic program witnessed a renaissance. From our football team beating Medfield on Thanksgiving to our boys' basketball team winning the Tri Valley League title, to our lacrosse team's success in the state tournament (*knock on wood*), we took Raider sports to a level unfathomable only a few short years ago, and our athletic prowess gave way to a powerful and palpable rise in school spirit. For many years, teachers, administrators, and coaches had long decried Dover-Sherborn's lack of student pride, but starting this fall, driven by the intensity of the senior class, we recorded stellar and unusually boisterous fan attendance at our athletic events. During spirit week, the class of 2005 claimed and, as tradition dictates, desecrated the Spirit Cup for the third consecutive year. Under our leadership, I am happy to report that Dover-Sherborn spirit is at an all time high.

In the classroom, we are a group of thinkers. AP courses were consistently filled to capacity, and we garnered genuine admiration from our instructors through our academic performance and our insightful opinions and in-class contributions. Our hard work and intelligence paid off in the college admissions process, as the class of 2005 put more students in top colleges than many area private schools. When a public institution can make that claim, the teachers and counselors have clearly done an exceptional job, but the students have to have been talented to begin with. As a representative of that group of students, I can tell you firsthand that we are that good.

During our tenure at Dover-Sherborn, we have also made great strides in the areas of community service, school leadership, and class unity. Members of this class have put in thousands of volunteer hours, we have been praised as outstanding leaders and role models for younger students by the administration, and we have grown closer to each other as a group.

Perhaps most importantly, as we have bonded with each other and compiled this impressive list of accomplishments, we have had fun. And, equally as importantly, we have kept our arrest records remarkably short while doing so (*knock on wood*). Yet, despite our laundry list of achievements, we stand before you with the realization that all we have done up until this point in our lives is fairly insignificant in the long run, just the first few strides in the long marathon of life.

We are here today, just like every other graduating class across America, as a group of fresh faced young men and women that are just as confused, apprehensive, and maybe even a little frightened of our looming entrance into "the real world" as you would expect us to be.

With this in mind, I felt that we needed some parting advice, to ease our worries and arm us with some valuable knowledge as we depart high school. I began thinking about this in the middle of the winter, racking my brain as I tried to decide who would be an appropriate source of inspiration to a group of such exceptional individuals. Then, as I tossed restlessly in bed one night, I realized who our muse should be. Despite the differences that the members of our class have, many of us do have one thing in common; our absolute, undying admiration for one man: Tucker Max.

If many of you in the audience haven't yet been touched by Tucker's greatness, I don't blame you. He is what some would call a cult icon, a quasi-celebrity who has gained a large and ever-growing fan base by posting his hilarious stories on the Internet. Despite the fact that Tucker is on the verge of hitting it big and receiving mainstream fame and recognition, he had his share of questions surrounding him as a graduation speaker. As brilliant as Tucker is, being a graduate of both the University of Chicago and Duke Law School, his gifts and popularity were overshadowed by his extensive and well-documented history of becoming obscenely intoxicated and ruining charity events. Thus, Tucker Max was not able to be here with us today. Even though we do not have him here in the flesh, I hope I can impart Tucker's fiery spirit to all of you.

During my communication with him, Tucker offered many insights, and even has a section on his website dedicated to advice for high school students. As a seasoned veteran of "the real world" now in his late twenties, Tucker has many astute observations to lend us.

He said, "The main question that I get from virtually all teenagers who write me is 'How do I become you?' The answer: you cannot become me. You can only be the best version of yourself possible. Your goal through the next decade should be to come back to your ten year reunion and say to your friends, 'I am happy with who I am. I have done things that make me proud of myself.' All the stories about drinking and hooking up are fun, but the idea that you need to find out who you are and be that person is the most important Tucker Max adage that you can take with you.

"When you are a teenager, you have no idea what you're all about, so you go from one thing to another trying to figure out how to define yourself. That's natural, and part of finding yourself is putting on other 'identities' to see how they fit. This is fine, but always come back to who you are.

"If you are unsure about how to do this, pay attention to those around you who are successful, and do what they do. As novel and advanced as my game may seem to you, I probably only invented about one percent of it, if that. Almost everything I know I learned by watching and imitating people older and more successful than me. In high school, you learn how to act like a senior by watching the seniors when you are an underclassman. In life, you learn how to be successful by watching the people who achieve success. Figure out what they do that the others aren't doing, isolate their successful behavior, and imitate it. You won't become them, but by trying to implement their actions you will naturally develop your own style.

"A corollary to this is to READ. A LOT. Humans have been recording history for about 10,000 years. You won't be the first person to go through anything that you go through. My grandfather told me: 'an idiot repeats his mistakes. A smart man learns from his mistakes. But a genius learns from the mistakes of others.' The more you read, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you can figure out how life works and what to do and what not do without having to screw up first. "Even so, go live life. Go out and experience everything you can. Do everything that you have an opportunity to do. Wisdom is most often earned and not learned, and the best way to get earned wisdom is to experience as much as possible. The more you see of the world, the smaller and more understandable it becomes."

As outstanding as this advice is, Tucker was justifiably excited to present it to our class, especially because it would have been his first opportunity to speak in this kind of forum. He has been offered the chance to deliver speeches at many high schools and colleges over the last few years, but his visits have always been cancelled due to last minute objections from either administrations or overly politically correct student groups, sometimes in the form of mass protests. When I told Tucker that we were not able to have him, he had this one final gem to lend me: "I hope that you learned something from this. Your whole life, other people are going to try to crush your dreams, and the only thing you can do is fight them. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but the day you give up the fight is the day your soul dies." Truer words were never spoken.

As we stand here on the verge of departing from everything familiar to us, and leaving the towns we have grown to know and love for institutions of higher learning scattered across both America and those other countries, or service in the armed forces that will see members of this class defending our great nation around the globe, or even entrance directly into the workplace, we prepare to go with the confidence that we all have what it takes to succeed. We are truly privileged individuals, and have been given opportunities from the moment we were born that many in this world will never see.

As members of a such a rare community and graduates of such an academically outstanding school system, we have the sacrifices of our parents, and all that they have worked for, as well as the diligence and dedication of our teachers and administrators to thank for putting us in the position that we are in today. We have learned much and grown immensely through our first eighteen years, and leave today prepared for wherever we are headed to next with knowledge, passion, work ethic, and a hunger for being the best that we can possibly be. I know each and every member of this class, and I think that everyone here will agree with me that we are all ready to make our mark on the world outside of Dover-Sherborn. As we head off today, with all of the success that we have already had, I can assure you that there is only more of it to come for the class of 2005.

That being said, I have been instructed to leave you with one final thought. In the eloquent, immortal lexis of Jen Siegel, "what's up, homeboy?""

Tucker "So Warren, you going to give our fledging genre a cool new name?"

Warren "Yeah, I was thinking of calling it 'fratire."

Tucker "Great Holy Jesus. Warren, that is awful. First off, I wasn't in a fraternity. Neither was Maddox. In fact, none of the writers you are profiling in your article was in a frat. Please, call it anything else...uh, how about Dick Lit?"

Warren "I don't think the Times will print that. We're going with fratire."

And there it was. I had the chance to kill the fratire name, had I just come up with something more printable than Dick Lit, but I failed. Sorry folks.

Slightly inaccurate titles aside, "fratire" is not what the pundits and bloggers would have you believe. That is why I decided to write this piece; I was tired of people who hadn't read our writing passing judgment on it and defining it in a way that served their ideological interests to the detriment of ours. It is time to set the record straight.

First off, if you have not read anything written by the two main players in the "fratire" genre, Maddox and I, then either go read at least some of our writing, or permanently excuse yourself from the debate. If you don't want to buy our books, you can get plenty of free material on our sites. Mine is here, www.TuckerMax.com, and Maddox's is here, www.thebestpageintheuniverse. com.

Seems easy enough, the idea that one should actually read what a person writes before commenting on their work? Well, perhaps not surprisingly, most of our critics have not bothered with that meddlesome detail. They spend 30 seconds surfing around, catch a glimpse of the word "bitch," see some sentence about "drunken sex" or a rant about Maddox's girlfriend changing the oil, and decide that's all they need to read, they have completely figured us out, and we are quite obviously [misogynists/alcoholics/immature/pseudo-frat boys/vengeful/insert your favorite adjective here].

The problem is that they are all wrong. Fratire is not about misogyny. Fratire is not about drinking. Fratire is not about acting immature, or animosity towards women or fraternity life, or anything of these other things it is accused of being.

It is difficult to claim that, as a group, we are any one thing. The simple fact is that the fratirists are a set of very different writers with very different styles and messages. I am single, I like to have sex with lots of different women, I like to drink with my friends and have a good time and then write about it. That's all I do; write true short stories about my nights out acting like an average twenty something. Maddox has had the same girlfriend for five years, rarely drinks, and likes to play computer games. Instead, he writes satire pieces mocking children's artwork, and vegetarians. Another writer in the genre, Robert Hamburger, has an ingeniously subversive site and book devoted to how sweet ninjas are. A fourth, Frank Rich, writes exclusively about drinking and alcohol.

If our voices are so different, why is it that we have been lumped together under fratire? What is the common bond? It is very simple: Fratire is, at it's essence, nothing more than men writing about being men in an honest and authentic way. I know that doesn't seem all that radical, but sadly, in the PC world that we now live in, it very much is.

To understand why current culture is at the point where men being men is considered a radical notion, you need to understand how we got here. Feminism came in three "waves"; 1st Wave, which was suffrage (the right to vote), 2nd Wave, which was the 60's and 70's sexual and social revolution fought for inclusion, and 3rd Wave, which is what we have now. It emphasizes freedom of choice for women regardless of what decision they make, and it endorses everything from porn to girly culture.

Of course, First Wave feminism was a substantial human advancement. Aside from universal suffrage, only the rule of law and the scientific method have done more to advance the human condition. Second Wave feminism was also necessary at the time it began. It threw off the stifling societal bonds limiting women's ability to be who they wanted to be and advance in fields they choose. However, Second Wave feminism went too far in some ways. While many women did want to take advantage of the new paths available to them and become scientists or CEO's, many did not, and they didn't enjoy feeling like failures simply because they chose to be stay-at-home moms or strippers or whatever.

The same was true for their sexuality. Because the Second Wave feminists fought for sexual equality against a patriarchal system that objectified them, as a result they sought to hold women to a standard of acting in accord with the gains they had won. But the Third Wave feminists did not want another set of rules, they wanted personal freedom, and some of them preferred the option of alternate sexual mores like bi-sexuality and sluttiness. This is why Third Wave feminism arose; it was a reaction against the oppression of the Second Wave. Plainly put, the Second Wave feminists were Jane Pauley and Gloria Steinem, and the Third Wave feminists were Britney Spears, Suicide Girls and Margaret Cho.

Why does any of this matter? Because feminism did not evolve in a vacuum. It interacted with and affected masculinity. Entire books could be written about this, but in short, men--especially in the media--reacted to Second Wave feminism by emasculating themselves and adopting a PC attitude that apologizes for nothing more than men being men. This attitude peaked in the early 90's (around the same time that Third Wave feminism started). The idea that men had to pay not only for the sins of our fathers, but had to suffer for simply being a man became pervasive in mainstream media.

When any pendulum swings too far to one side, it eventually has to start coming back. The first major player to refuse to buckle to this trend was Howard Stern. The demand for such a voice was so strong that by simply refusing to kowtow to the PC police, he became the "King of All Media." This is where fratire comes in. While Maddox and I are not Howard Stern, we do represent some of the first internet players in this anti-PC revolt, and fratire as a genre represents the non-mainstream literary reaction to the feminization of masculinity.

Masculinity is starting to slowly coming back in vogue, but the fight is only beginning. The fact is, at this point in entertainment history, the Second Wave feminists are the gatekeepers of media. The women who grew up in the 60's are now in charge, and they quite literally run shit. By itself that is not a problem, but these 50-year-old women who hold so many positions of power in media companies have personal preferences that do not reflect many American attitudes. Fratire exists as a genre because people are hungry for someone to tell it like it actually is instead of how these women (and men to some extent) want it to be. There is a large and untapped segment of the American populace that want men to act like men, but the MSM, which is run by Second Wave feminists, doesn't get this yet. They aren't in touch anymore.

(As a slight aside, I would go so far as to say that many feminists, especially Second Wave feminists, actually HATE women. Not the minority of women who agree with them, but the majority of actual women in the world, the ones who wax their legs and wear high heels, who distance themselves from radical feminism and actually like men. The hard-core Second Wave feminists think so little of women that they are compelled to control them, tell them what's acceptable to read or enjoy or think is funny and dictate whom it's permissible to be attracted to, i.e. to tell them that they are supposed to hate Maddox and I because we aren't pussy-whipped sycophants. Well fuck that. It is not an accident that at 30-40% of our fans are women. Ladies, unlike the feminist illuminati who disparage your personal choices when they don't fall into line with their radical views, I will not ignore and disregard your decisions. I am glad you are reading my work and I personally welcome you as fans.)

This is not an issue of fratire writers being internet based and thus disregarded by the mainstream. Ana Marie Cox (Wonkette) got a two book deal with an advance over $500,000. Jessica Cutler (Washintonienne) got an advance of $240,000. My advance? $7500. Maddox's? $7500. How did that turn out for the publishing world?

My book, "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell", just passed 60,000 books sold (in only six months) and spent two weeks as a NY Times Best Seller (and that was literally without one single book review in any publication of note). According to Book Scan, Ana Marie Cox (Dog Days) and Jessica Cutler (Washingtonienne) have-COMBINED-sold less than half that. And of course, neither ever hit any best seller list (Maddox's numbers aren't known, but he debuted at #4 on the NY Times Best Seller List, so I think we can safely say he will eventually outsell all of us).

What does all this mean? Well, aside from my ranting to get this off my chest, it means one very simple thing: Don't believe the anti-fratire hype. If you read my work or Maddox's work or any of the other fratire authors and dislike our writing on it's merits, that is fine. Though fratire has a large audience, it's not for everyone. But don't dis the genre because you think that it's anti-woman or misogynistic; it is not. At least give us the respect of judging our work as it is, not as some reactionary who hasn't read it thinks it is.

Let me be even more clear: The last thing I want to do is define fratire in opposition to women or to feminism. It is not an accident that 30-40% of my fans are women. I do not imply that men's interests run counter to women's, or even that masculinity and feminism are mutually exclusive. They are not. Nor does fratire hold that feminism is bad, or that men are "superior" to women in some unspecified way. In fact, I very much agree with the basic tenet of feminism--that women are legally and morally equal to men and should have every opportunity that men do.

True masculinity is not about opposing femininity. In fact, femininity is essential to masculinity; it is the yin to our yang. Any real man values and desires women in his life, but men also want to stop being told that it's not OK to be a man.

Of course, this begs the question: What does it mean to be a man?

Honestly, I don't know the answer to that question. I definitely like to think of myself as a man, but I do not think that I am the model or definition of manhood that everyone should aspire to. Even though I cannot define manhood, I do know that we will never define it if we cannot discuss it openly and freely, without fear of being castigated or vilified for exploring the boundaries of these issues.

My name is [redacted]. I'm 23, and I live in Michigan. I draw comics. I've read all the content of your site, and I'm eager to buy the new book. I'm a big fan.

Recently, my girlfriend and I broke up. It was very hard, very painful, all the things I'm sure you're familiar with. Now, I've had breakups before, really messy ones, but this one was probably the hardest, because I truly thought she was the one. We'd been living together for a year, and everything was great.

Out of nowhere, she tells me she's not happy. She wants to move out.

In the past, I have not handled breakups well. When I was younger... Not to weird you out or anything, but when I was younger, I got real depressed, and dove into that sea of self-loathing one dives into when they feel hurt and betrayed.

This time was different though. Even though she was the best girlfriend I've had, I took the news better than ever before. I've grown up a lot since then, I think. And one of the things I found myself repeatedly thinking was "What would Tucker Max do if he got dumped? Would he pout like a little bitch and play video games to blot out the pain? No. He would go out into the world and, for a few hours, he would make that world his. That is what I must do."

I reread your stories. I read your advice on the message boards, all that shit about finding yourself, about being sure of who you are and what you can do. Sentiments like that helped me see my situation for what it was: temporary. My girlfriend leaving was not the end of the world. It was the beginning of a new one.

My point is... You help people. People just like me, every day. People who have little confidence, aren't sure of what their place in the world is, and of how they can attain their dreams. People who are ready to reject what they have been told to think, and begin thinking for themselves. You might be conceited, but you're RIGHT to be. You've got it figured out. You've left your mark in human history, and will be forever remembered as a terrible person and a brilliant man.

Thank you, Tucker Max. You are a hero. Keep writing your stories. There's no telling how many of us you might save.

I recently dated and broke up with a smart, funny, successful guy, who in his past (since he met me, to a lesser extent) made a habit of being the drunkest person in the bar (sometimes the drunkest person EVER to have been in the bar) and saying and doing ridiculously offensive things. He wooed me with his wit, for the most part, along with his
embracing being an asshole (not to me of course), loving attention as I do, and asserting that he is smarter than other people.

Back to where you come in: I may be overreacting to a large degree and that is why I am relaying this to you, the author of your site, the only person with a real grip on how unusual your thoughts/actions/expressions are...
-he consistently says, if they can't take a joke, fuck 'em
-favorite words = Open Bar
-favorite book = confederacy of dunces
-uses term "*HIS NAME* drunk"
-tells a story about thinking he was doing "cheers" with himself in a mirror

I could go on. So...how old is your site? Is this coincidence? Are there a lot of guys out there with similar world views?

When I first found out about your site, I hated you. Soon after, I came to realize that my hatred was actually jealousy, and really it was only myself I hated. Pathetic, I know, but that's how it was.

Anyways, I had to write you this email to thank you. You're right when you say that you do provide one valuable service to the world, and that is giving people a different perspective of how the world works, a perspective that's helped me deal with life in a novel way (I'm a 22 year old male, if that gives you any indication of my state).

I'm a 14 year old freshman girl who is addicted to your website. I know, there are tons of us, but I can't stop talking about your stories at lunch. Wow, I do sound immature. ANYWAYS! I was going to give an example...

This afternoon at lunch I was telling two of my friends, "You guys have to see tuckermax.com! He's fucking hilarious! EVERYTHING HE WRITES IS TRUE! It's all sexual!" (as you know this appeals to high schoolers... we're all horny as fuck so naturally reading stories like The Blowjob Follies is naturally entertaining and appealing!) Back to the story! "There is this one group of stories called The Blowjob Follies and there is this one where he pulls out, and he's really young, and he totally hit the girl in the eye!" Needless to say, my friend shot snapple out his nose. I tell everyone I can about you! My friend (who is older) parties a lot and always ends up passing out so I told her about The Famous Sushi Pants Story and how you woke up with a 0.9! Plus, I love telling people about your tape recorder; I have always wanted to do that!

Why did I write you exactly? I am not quite sure. Maybe to let you know that I exist. Maybe knowing that you might read this will help me sleep at night. Or could it be that I am just so fascinated by you that I hope that you make actually respond are do something with this email... who knows!

I do know that I am now a lot more knowledgeable about the sex-alcohol filled world that lies before me! I know that in the future I will come to party like Tucker Max. And when I do I shall find you, wherever you are, and thank you for teaching me the crazed ways of the modern world. Or at least the sexual, alcoholic part of the modern world.

To you, I am just a insignificant high school freshman. But to me, you are my invisible teacher whom I know is there but is just so out of reach that the sun causes a glowing aura around him. Wow... I love writing profoundly!

OH! I am totally getting of topic! You are my teacher and I am now less scared of... everything! Wierd, no? You are such an "asshole" yet you are building my confidence! Whatever! You are Tucker Max.

Anyways, I probably should end this because... I sadly have school tomorrow. So before I go I want to compliment you on all of your websites and you being you! I also would like to add that your writing skills are amazing and I know that if I could write like you I would be doing hella awesome!

You are a fucking homo. I hope your penis shrivels up and falls off. You are not and never will be famous. You will forever be one of those lame assholes at the bar who thinks his shit doesn't stink. And in LA, you are a typical "I'm on the Internet, that means I'm a celebrity person."

I read the earlier stories and thought you were hilarious. The newer stories portray you as a selfish cowardly bastard, who can only get insecure and extremely inebriated girls. Definitely something to be proud of. You are the epitome of loser Tucker, and this story proves it.

You are a good writer, but let me tell you something Midwestern boy, you are a dime a dozen in LA, I meet a new Tucker Max every time I go to a bar, and I tell them the same thing I am telling you. Fuck off.

You may be a big fish (and even this I doubt), in a small pond over in Lincoln Park or Bucktown, but in the place where it matters for the career you are trying to pursue, you are nothing but another waiter. So go get my venti nonfat half-calf latte bitch, and maybe I'll pretend like I'm interested in your ever original desire to become famous.

---------- Original message ----------
From: Tucker Max
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 02:20:24 -0500
Subject: Re: pee blame story
To: dayasha21

So I guess this means you are into me? Send me a pic and we can go from there. You better be hot.

---------- Original message ----------
From: dayasha21@aol.com
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 19:12:36 EDT
Subject: Re: pee blame story
To: tuckermax@gmail.com

Get your head out of your ass. You are one delusional motherfucker. I meant it when I said you are a dime a dozen out here. If I was an emotionally unstable self-loathing basket case, I could find plenty of physically flawless emotionally empty people at the bars in LA. What the fuck would I want with your unemployed ass. But seeing as how I have both self-confidence and self-respect, I would never touch your herpes infested, tired and most likely unusually small penis. And don't go being Mr. Originality on me and say that the reason I am saying this is because I am ugly and fat. Because if you ever ran into me, I think you might recant that statement.

But seriously, I think your big break into Hollywood is coming soon, in the meantime table 6 needs their check.

---------- Original message ----------
From: Tucker Max
Date: Mon, 20 Sep 2004 18:51:02 -0500
Subject: Re: pee blame story
To: "dayasha21@aol.com"

Sweet. So what do you like to do in bed? I am into dominance and roll playing. You better be as hot as you say though. When and where do you want to meet?

----- Original Message -----
From: dayasha21
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:19:35 EDT
Subject: Re: pee blame story
To: tuckermax@gmail.com

I HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE.

---------- Original message ----------
From: Tucker Max
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:29:59 EDT
Subject: Re: pee blame story
To: "dayasha21@aol.com"

Don't threaten me with a good time! So when do you want to meet up? Your emails are turning me on!